hi-tech equipment for fixing trains

So it’s snowy and it’s icy, and the whole of the UK has tried not to grind to a shuddering halt, but is soldiering bravely on through the winter weather.


From Essex CC’s website: IMPORTANT: Essex is suffering from severe weather conditions. (This made me think of the county as some sort of distressed damsel in a story, lying in a darkened room hoping for

Over the tannoy on my train this morning, after a lengthy wait for it to couple to the train in front of it: “Good morning, I’m so sorry for the delay to your train service today, this was caused by compacted snow and ice on this technologically wonderful machine. The problem was solved in a delicate operation with high-tech special equipment – a kettle of boiling water and a screwdriver.”

refgrunt from a different hour today

Sage & Microsoft Great Plains (which is apparently accounting software)


“Resolution” by C J Sanson – is either “Dissolution” or “Revelation” by CJ Sansom

List of Rosamunde Pilcher books

Various back issues of newspapers

Workshop manual for a Yamaha motorbike

Can I book number 3 for 11am tomorrow?

I need to print a tax return form, can I use one of your computers?

Why is the table so much higher, is it for disabled access? Look, all the others are the same height, why is this one higher?

Can I check which computer I’m on?

Are you able to help me find whereabouts to look for a book?

Do you have sheet music?

More back copies of newspapers

refgrunt from one hour on the desk today

How to look after an African pygmy hedgehog (quite possibly the cutest animal I've ever set eyes on)


Moira Kerr cds

Metropolis dvd, remastered & reconstructed

Criminology books

On messages list: romance book called Forbidden or For Bedding (I swear these get more ridiculous by the week)

Do you do courses on Publisher?

Eye health & potential problems

This evening I took someone up to the microfilm machines, he said he was looking at something sneakily, outside of work time (but presumably work-related). When we got up there, there was already a man on one of our machines. By the time I'd got the keys out and discovered the years my customer wanted weren't in the drawer,  they were sheepishly shaking hands - working sneakily after hours on the same thing for the same place, by the looks of things. Hilarious... I made my excuses and left them to it.

where we belong? I think not..

Man interrupting his wife’s enquiry (she ignored it and carried on with her own, serenely): Oh, I see, your library’s at the bottom of County Hall – where it belongs.

Me: Actually I prefer to think of it as the foundation upon which the county rests…

A colleague & friend: Without us, County Hall would fall down.
 
 
I also walked in this morning to find a man vacuuming our photocopier... for a moment I honestly thought I was in some kind of parallel universe.

fireworks

Today we had a lady who wanted “that children’s poem about fireworks that has 54321 in it and might be about a rocket”.

the Quest for Books

I do love the part of my job where I get to disappear in among the stacks, steal noiselessly between the shelves and emerge, triumphantly, clutching whichever book the customer’s asked for.


The downside, of course (or perhaps it’s an upside) is that in the quest for one book for someone else, I inevitably spot at least four I’d like to read myself, and add them to the ever-growing list of Books I Must Read One Day.

wow, a book-related post at last

"Inspired by reading “The Red Leather Diary” by Lily Koppel, for my 25th birthday in February I’m going to order myself a five year diary, with just a few lines for each day, and try to faithfully keep a record of my life between 25 and 30.

I'm also rather liking this idea:
http://www.ohsocherished.co.uk/product/1161/0/100_year_diary
of a 100 year diary, to fill with letters, notes and photos, and details of your life over an entire lifetime.

severed heads

Sigh... I've already been asked about the history of beheadings in the Tower of London and it's not even 9 o' clock yet...

quote of the day

From a man asking about electoral registers in the north of the country, after a good ten minutes of irrelevant chatter:

“y’see, m’wife’s run off and she owes me a bit of money, and I might have to go up there and do some spying, y’know?”"

another selection of madness

"Minette Walters books (crime)
Diane Chamberlain books (modern, all out on loan)
Lady giving her card back because they’re leaving Chelmsford today and won’t need them any more
Printing, printing and more printing
Protective book jackets
Street map of Kelvedon
Henry Moore (artist) books, information etc on drawings and sculptures
Antiques"

musical

one of our regulars is, for reasons best known to herself, playing the clarinet in the high street.

random things from today's hours on the desk

A Christmas Carol


Scanner x 2

Dead printing again

Bar Mitzvahs

Barley (as in the food)

Titanic

Magnets (this and the 3 above all asked for by unaccompanied adults… doing their children’s homework for them, I suspect)

Photocopying & faxing across to Colchester entries from the Gold & Silversmiths Directories

Knights of Malta (but not historical fiction, only factual)

Domestic violence for a school project

Lost keys

Information about using computers, Ancestry, etc

Managed to do the exciting messages (650s and 745s)

Tripped over some books in the illustration section I’d quite like to read one day in the distant future when I have time to breathe

knights of malta

Just had a lady in asking about the Knights of Malta, she and her husband had just been on holiday and were very impressed by them... so here's a link all about them!

manners

Today, my job appears to be less that of a reference librarian and more one of instilling manners into customers…


One customer who persistently butts into other people’s conversations and enquiries kept coming over today, I had to tell him four times that I was with another customer and he’d have to wait, and no, he couldn’t have three hours on the computer.

One child came and started talking loudly at me while I was speaking to another lady about her enquiry, I had to also tell him to wait till I’d finished and myself or one of my colleagues would be with him soon.

Caitlin had a rude person from another library on the phone, and I just had a child ask me relatively politely for some books, only for his mum to snap at me “he has to write about Roman artefacts. What can he write? Tell me!” – as if I’m the expert!

I know I have to be polite at all times to our customers, but I wish I was brave enough to be sharp with the particularly mannerless ones – just because they don’t pay for our services doesn’t mean they’re entitled to every second of our time without waiting or queuing, and just because I work in a library doesn’t mean I’m paid to do your child’s homework for you – as a parent or guardian, that’s your job to help your child with the things they find difficult. I’m just here to provide the signposts, books & information. And I am human, not a robot that doesn't notice abusive/rude behaviour!

how to dispose of a coat

a lambskin coat, in fact - i offered to find a vintage shop that would buy it from this lady, but she'd really much prefer it to be sold to someone who, wait for it, makes teddy bears out of fur coats.

So far I have drawn a complete blank in Britain, and have found one person in the States who uses donated coats... suggestions on a postcard, please!

ghostly

Man to my colleague: "Hi, I understand you can access Ancestry.com here at the library?"
Colleague: "That's right, it's free in all Essex libraries, do you have a library card so we can book you a session?"
Man: "If you could show me how to use it, that'd be great - I need to look myself up on there, I've died twice."
Colleague and me: *bemused / incredulous stares*
Man: "No, I really have died twice. Seriously - you don't believe me?"

At this point we let him go, telling him we'd be happy to book a computer any time he wanted to use Ancestry...

relaxed teeth

Woman earlier today: I'm looking for trans-dental meditation?

things found in books today

A handwritten note, found in “Managing with the power of NLP: Neuro Linguistic programming for competitive advantage” by David Molden, read:
“Debbie needs to notice the process of communication. She needs to unlearn the unhelpful and habitual behaviour.”
Poor Debbie!

--

A business card from Naomi Dube, Designer, of Zionelle Designs. ”The best choice of a successful person, for wedding/party, planning and decorations. Found in 'Create your own future' by Brian Tracy.

--

A bookmark featuring books such as “shaggy dogs and black sheep, the origins of even more phrases we use every day”, “phantom hitchhikers and decoy ducks, the strange stories behind urban legends”, “loch ness monsters and raining frogs, the world’s most puzzling mysteries solved” and “pop goes the weasel, the secret meanings of nursery rhymes”, all by Albert Jack. Found in A feast of Freud, the wittiest writings of Clement Freud'.

Today I have learned

· That we don't have cardboard recycling bags, only plastic ones

· That people can read Which magazine for a scary amount of time

· That Gregory Peck inspired passion in the hearts of women in To Kill a Mockingbird – one lady said she'd always worried about when he died, because she didn't know what she'd do with herself when he did

Life Story

Asked about microfilm & how far back the Essex Chronicle went, so she could get a photo & her marriage announcement because her husband died recently. Then proceeded to tell me her entire life story and how she refuses to go to doctors and is wary of medical people :S

feet

Customer (looking down): Oh wow, I love your feet, they're so pretty!

Me (thinking she means my sparkly blue flip flops): thank you, they were from Marks & Spencer at the beginning of this summer

Customer: Do you know, I think I'd like to do some sort of exhibition with your feet in – I could just take a photo of them! I always take photos of feet.

Me: riiiight. Is there anything else the library can do for you today?

"I won't ask for print outs today, dear"

"because they're rather, ahem, explicit."

This customer, who usually asks for addresses of film companies, then proceeded to request the details of a film company and a magazine that specialise, as far as I could make out from the limited access the filter gave us, in gay & lesbian porn...

Some people apparently lack the embarrassment gene.

all the fun

I missed all the fun yesterday... some bloke came in, threw our coffee table in the air, knocked over our booksale tables (complete with lots of books) and then karate kicked our new, shiny, electric sign. Our panic button failed but both security and police apparently turned up in the end.

Fortunately it was nothing to do with the service we'd given, but some sort of domestic incident and the police are going to try to catch up with him.

Whoever said library work was boring?!

it makes you think

This morning someone came in asking if she could find out which, if any, books were on her uncle's card, and how much he owed so that she could pay it off or pay the cost of replacement. Due to Data Protection, we're not allowed to give this information out - but the reason she wanted it is because her uncle is in a coma, and if he comes round they want him to have minimal things to worry about.

In her situation the last thing I'd be concerned about would be library books - incidents like that really make you think about the things you whinge about on a daily basis. Nothing in the day to day reality of work life is really that bad, is it?

183184

Me: Hi, can I help you there?
Man: Yep, 183184?
Me: *puzzled stare*
Man: You know... philosophy? 183184!!

With hindsight, he was obviously looking for philosophy and more specifically Plato, which are shelved under Dewey numbers 183 to 184. However, as he barked the number out at speed, it sounded like a phone number or reference number and confused me no end!

Full

Today the library was full of confetti shapes - there must have been several weddings in County Hall :)

Perhaps not!

Today I had a phone call put through from the switchboard, from a customer who had asked to be put through to "the erudite and useful ladies and gentlemen on the big desk, please" - I was flattered once I'd looked up 'erudite' and found that it means learned, scholarly and possessing or showing profound knowledge. However, as I had to look it up, perhaps I'm not so very erudite after all...?!

Something new every day

Today I have been asked for various things, the one that stands out is the girl who asked me for "books on psychology and music- you know, the developmental psychology of music and stuff". I had no idea that was even a real subject, but managed to find a book with almost that exact title... :)

Today we've also fended off noisy children, an unattended bag and a child who was rather too fond of direct questions like "Who's better at their job, you or that lady there?". Hilarious.

Ahem

The public catalogue was down on Easter Saturday, so we had a lot of people asking if we could search for books for them. I learned to be diplomatic and not to giggle immaturely...

Lady: Hi, I'm looking for a couple of series of books, can you help me find them please?
Me: Sure, what's the name of the series or the author?
Lady: Black Lace, if you have it
Me: Ok, let me just get rid of the privacy screen so you can see the results. Yep, there are four or five here, I'll show you where they live.
Lady: Thank you! I love vampire erotica. Could you just check if you have the Nexus books, too?
Me: Yup... [checks catalogue] hmm, nothing's coming up... let me just check Amazon a minute...
Lady: [yelps] you might not want that page up when children are around....
Me: [hastily throwing the privacy screen back at the monitor, just before some rather graphic book covers, with much-less-than-subtle titles, appear on my screen] Oh. Right. Erm, I'm not sure that's really the sort of fiction that we stock here...
Lady: Oh, not to worry, it's much more explicit because it's from the man's viewpoint. And they're such good books, my stepdad gave me one and I'm hooked. Oh no, that sounds really bad, doesn't it?

The Almost-Librarian is on holiday

for the second time in a month! Back 1st April - will be sure to check in with any daft questions I get asked on my travels :)

martini

Regular, very lovely lady: It's unfair that they make you stand up all day- don't you have seats to sit on?
Me: Yes, but they're not terribly comfortable (pointing out the bar-stool style seat we have at one of the stand-up pods)
RVLL: Well you can't sit on one of those and not have a cocktail - tell your managers to install a martini bar for you at one of these desks!

So what do you think - on the next staff meeting agenda, perhaps?

Mexican Wedding

Hands-down favourite customer of the day - a lovely man who came in to ask if I had anything about father-of-the-groom speeches for a Mexican wedding!

(actually in Mexico, to a Mexican lady, not just in England and themed - it made my day!)

launch and training

It was the Essex Book Festival launch yesterday morning, and it was actually a lot of fun. I mistimed coming back to work on that day, I could have done with being there Wednesday, because I'd half forgotten the date and I arrived at work to find BBC Essex broadcasting from the library, millions of people circulating and a lot of regular customers sulking about the noise.

But it was fantastic despite all that, and I even managed to snaffle a Penguin Books 75 years bag for life, which was rather nice :) Shame I wasn't allowed to use my Ducking Fabulous business cards to network, really...

The afternoon held some interesting if rather rage-inducing training at JobCentre Plus, the people there are so good and so positive, but some people just completely take the **** with the benefits system in this country, and it makes me so angry to hear about the things they say and do :S However, the Jobcentre staff are committed to helping people back to work long-term, and they're doing a fantastic job, I just find some of the stories hard to stomach.

And now I'm here till 7, having had a totally mad day with customers that really can't quite be paying attention to what they're saying to me, and I'm looking forward very much to a cup of tea, and some dinner, and my bed.

Number 12 - it was definitely number 12!

Customer: can you help me, I seem to have lost all my work.
Me: Ok, which computer are you on?
Customer: 12.
[we walk over to computer 12, which has someone else on it]
Customer: I was definitely on number 12, hang on, maybe there's another 12 round here. Oh no, it's this one, see, 12 [points to where it says 18 on the front of the computer]
Me: That's ok, at least we've found it now. What work was it you think you lost?
Customer: Oh, no, I just want to know how to get to BBCI!
Me: Ah, let me just find that for you - www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer
Customer: Thank you, thank you so much!

"a book"

Customer: Hi, I'm looking for a book.
Me: Ok, which book?
Customer: Oh, I don't know what it's called. Or its author... maybe I'll just go and buy it.

Away...

The Almost-Librarian is on holiday... three times in one month! Currently in Reading, and went to Brighton yesterday to buy beautiful things. Back on Thursday!

Now I really have seen it all

Customer wanders up to desk, says he has a problem getting his message to load. I go over to the computer, see that as always Facebook is way too advanced for our poor old computers, and suggest moving to a different one. He agrees, and I ask for his ticket.

He hands me a cigarette packet to which he's taped his library card keytag.

Medalman is back

And just when we thought he'd left the library for good. He's back, and droning as though he'd never been away... and normally I don't mind listening, I just paste a smile on and nod in the right places. But when there's a queue of people and he's just wittering about nothing...

I NEED that disengagement training we've been promised!

tweeting at tweeple in the twitterverse

Or something! Went to a fab seminar today run by the lovely Marieke Guy from UKOLN, about Web 2.0 and social networking in libraries, museums and archives. It was of personal as well as professional interest to me as I did my dissertation about Facebook and motivation to use it or not, and I wanted to see how the same principles could be applied to a library environment.

We were encouraged to use web 2.0 during the seminar as long as it didn't interfere with other people's learning and listening, which was both novel and relevant. However, the content was so interesting I didn't have time to pick up my phone till lunchtime, and even then I couldn't tweet because I was too busy networking with the other people there! Met a fellow crafter from Suffolk Council, which was unexpected and rather nice :)

So we learned a lot, and enjoyed it much more than normal courses, especially the hands on bit where Sarah and I opened delicious.com and the first entry was, ahem, interesting! I shall be following what we do in libraries with Web 2.0 technology with interest, I think there are certain aspects that we won't be able to use due to council policy and other issues, but there are certainly things I can see working very well if we apply them properly.

And now I'm here on my extra late shift (as in, two lates in a week, not working later than usual!) mulling over what was said and wondering how I can get delicious to work for me on the generic login we're now using on all five of our information points - I miss my Favourites lists, you see, I had them all personalised on my own login, but obviously can't do that now we all share a login out here. Suggestions on a postcard!

Walmart shoppers

Hilarious email from Sharon this morning with scary photos of the weird and wonderful people that shop in WalMart - we could so do our own version of some of the library customers!!

No FT, no comment

Man: Hi, I’d like an old copy of the Financial Times.


Me: Sure, which one?

Man: Oh, one day in December… hmm... (thinks for a moment) it’ll be a Monday (looks at me like I’m the one dithering)…oh, let’s go for the first Monday of December.

Is it just me, or is that not the most efficient way to start searching for something?

I got a question right on University Challenge!

I can't even remember the exact question, but it was something to do with an Essex town getting its name from a colouring - Cambridge & St Andrews got it wrong, but I knew it was Saffron Walden! :D

the greyhound man

The loveliest customer came in today, to check he'd understood correctly about the consequences and benefits of a magazine he subscribes to going online, and then we somehow strayed onto the topic of dogs, and ended up chatting about greyhounds for about half an hour! And he was so appreciative of the information I was able to give him about the magazine :) (Although despite it being my job to provide information, he actually gave me much more about adopting retired greyhounds than I gave him about his enquiry, lol!)

Healthy Living training this afternoon, it was very interesting but I had to pop out for a chocolate in the middle!!!

the usual suspects

The usual bunch of loud, irritating no-hopers are lurking around the library this evening - less of them than usual, but annoying me nonetheless!

On the plus side, one of my semi-regular, completely lovely customers has just come and thanked me for my help in finding a book (about the secrets of the millionaire's mind, hehe) which always makes it worth it :)

Have had some very odd enquiries today - the Bermuda Triangle, health leaflets in Urdu and do we do poetry lessons, among other things. The variety is definitely the main reason I love this job!

Passwords

Regular Creepy Customer: Hi, is my library password my date of birth as six numbers?

Me: Yep.

RCC: Thanks. So if I'm trying to buy a new numberplate, would the password be the same?

a kiss!

Haha, from a customer... I helped a lady set up her own email address, and wrote all the details down for her so she can get to it again rather than having to repeatedly set up email addresses each time she wants to send something to someone, as she had been doing... and then I gave her some information about the local courses for computer beginners. Just a standard enquiry really... and she was so pleased she flung her arms round me and kissed myself and a colleague, it was hilarious! But very sweet...

Saved by the bell

Quite literally! I had a customer on the phone who just would not stop talking - he ostensibly called us to see if we had 'a couple' of DVDs in stock - eight DVDs and his life history later (I kid you not, I'm now an expert on him, his sister, their graduation from drama school and the people they would like to emulate when they get into acting) the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building. His reaction when I said this?

"Oh right, can you take my number and call me back later?"

Er, let me just think about that for a second... no, on reflection I'd rather not risk burning to death for the sake of a couple of DVDs.

There was also a lady in the fiction section browsing for books who must have been mostly deaf, as she didn't hear the alarm or me approaching. I tapped her on the arm to tell her about the evacuation and bless her heart, she was more worried about the books that she'd be taking outside of the library than her own safety! So there are some good ones after all...

Welcome...

... to the surreal world of working in a library. You really couldn't make it up!

This morning's favourite:

Customer: "I'm looking for the provenance behind a quote, please"
Me: "Oh right, which quote is that?"
Customer: "Dead birds don't fall out of their nests, I'm sure it was Winston Churchill who said it."
Me (after several minutes of internet research): So, the story goes that one of Churchill's aides passed him a note at a meeting saying "Sir, your fly is undone." Churchill glanced down, then wrote back "Don't worry, dead birds don't fall out of their nests".