Saved by the bell

Quite literally! I had a customer on the phone who just would not stop talking - he ostensibly called us to see if we had 'a couple' of DVDs in stock - eight DVDs and his life history later (I kid you not, I'm now an expert on him, his sister, their graduation from drama school and the people they would like to emulate when they get into acting) the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building. His reaction when I said this?

"Oh right, can you take my number and call me back later?"

Er, let me just think about that for a second... no, on reflection I'd rather not risk burning to death for the sake of a couple of DVDs.

There was also a lady in the fiction section browsing for books who must have been mostly deaf, as she didn't hear the alarm or me approaching. I tapped her on the arm to tell her about the evacuation and bless her heart, she was more worried about the books that she'd be taking outside of the library than her own safety! So there are some good ones after all...

Welcome...

... to the surreal world of working in a library. You really couldn't make it up!

This morning's favourite:

Customer: "I'm looking for the provenance behind a quote, please"
Me: "Oh right, which quote is that?"
Customer: "Dead birds don't fall out of their nests, I'm sure it was Winston Churchill who said it."
Me (after several minutes of internet research): So, the story goes that one of Churchill's aides passed him a note at a meeting saying "Sir, your fly is undone." Churchill glanced down, then wrote back "Don't worry, dead birds don't fall out of their nests".