ghostly

Man to my colleague: "Hi, I understand you can access Ancestry.com here at the library?"
Colleague: "That's right, it's free in all Essex libraries, do you have a library card so we can book you a session?"
Man: "If you could show me how to use it, that'd be great - I need to look myself up on there, I've died twice."
Colleague and me: *bemused / incredulous stares*
Man: "No, I really have died twice. Seriously - you don't believe me?"

At this point we let him go, telling him we'd be happy to book a computer any time he wanted to use Ancestry...